The Not So Normal Marauder Story
by TearsandLies3m0
Summary: Not a normal Maruader fic. Starting with the fact that Sirius loves kissing nifflers.. Rated M for language and romance.


Sirius looked at himself in the mirror. His long black hair was in place, he could still do a sexy pout and his arse looked fine. "Hmm..Looking fine!" He mummured to himself as he winked at his reflection.

A snore interrupted his thoughts. 'What did Mrs. Potter say about James?"

He thought as he stared at the handsome black haired James Potter. 'Oh yeah! I have to wake him up!' Slowly, he creeped up next to James' ear and said in a voice unlike Lily Evans' and pretty high pitched, "hi James, it's me, Lily, look I know I always deny it, but I love you, I really do James Potter."

James fell off his bed and frantically searched for his glasses. Hurriedly putting it on, he stood up unsteadily and said, " Lily I-" The rest couldn't be heard because Sirius' bark like laughter as he rolled on the floor. "Padfoot! Damnit I really thought it was her this time!" James said as he stared at Sirius. Sirius looked up with tears streaming down his face.

Before James could curse Sirius, the bedroom door opened. Remus Lupin stepped in. (;) Remus seems cute!) "REMUS!" James shouted. Both him and Sirius stampeeded over and jumped on Remus, also known as Moony. They stood up and gave each other "manly" hugs. Although, as always, Sirius over did it by giving Moony a kiss on the cheek. (No slash this time.)

Sirius filled in Moony by telling him the prank he just did on James. Meanwhile, James ripped his shirt off to show all the muscles he gained from playing Quidditch. He grabbed some clothes and went to the bathroom. As he stepped into the shower, he noticed the water was lukewarm. "PADFOOT!!"

"Oh, I almost forgot to tell you Prongs!" Moony yelled above the noise. James was tickling Sirius. "Lily is comming to Potter Mansion!"

"What?!" Both James and Sirius shrieked. "No way!" "Yes way!" "No!" "Yes!" "Moony!" "Prongs!" "Padfoot!" Sirius added. He just despised being ignored. He stared at Moony and Prongs as they acted like gossiping girls.

/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\

James looked at himself in the mirror. He tried to make his hair flat, but no luck. As he walked out, he promised himself that he wouldn't ask Lily out while she stayed at his house.

He wrenched open the door and saw a sight he would have done quite good without. Sirius in a cheerleading outfit. Bending down. "AHH!!!!" James sheilded his eyes from the gruesome sight. "Wha-? Oh, sorry Prongs, just thought I should give Lily a good welcome. Here I think I have an extra uniform somewhere.." "Uh.. no thanks Padfoot, Im good."

"Here, can I show you my cheer?" 'I'd rather be thrown off the highest tower in Hogwarts...'James thought. But afterall, he did owe Sirius for a lot. "I guess." "Ok." Sirius stood ready with his hands on his hips and pom poms shaking. "Give me a H-" "h.." James said in a bored voice. "I!" "I." "Space!" "uh..space?" "L!" "L.." "I!" "I..." "Another L" "L..." "and Y!!" "Y.." "What does that spell?" "Hi Lily."

Then Sirius started prancing around, kicking his unshaven legs up in the air. Just as he did that for the fifth time, Remus walked in and got hit with Sirius' foot. Falling down unconcious, Sirius did a nervous laugh and nudged Moony to the side. With a girly prance, he climed onto the bed and jumped down, landing in a spilts position. He winced and shook his pom poms. "Welcome to Potter Mansion Lily! The shagging closet is down the hall!" He cried out and waved his arms about. By then he tried to get up, but the splits had hurt. "Prongs? A little help here buddy..."

James simply got up, and walked out the door in a sudden crave for some strawberries. As he came back, he saw Remus stirring and Sirius massaging his thighs. "I will never, EVER do that again!" Just then, Lily came in. As soon as Sirius noticed, he stood up and did the whole routine again, this time narrowly missing James and the bowl of strawberries. Forgetting the imense pain, he did the spilts all over again. Lily giggled and clapped while Sirius weeped in pain.

After they got Sirius to calm down, the Marauders invited Lily to sit down and eat some strawberries. Although Lily hated James, she couldn't help giving him a once-over. Suddenly, Sirius broke the silence (who else?) and said, "have you ever noticed that you can pratically make out with a strawberry?" Everyone just stared at him wondering where his brains were. "Im gonna try!" So he got up, and walked over to the closet and soon they heard slurping sounds.

"Oh Merlin, I think he's doing more then making out with that strawberry." Remus thought aloud.

"Oh you know you want this body, you little dirty, naughty strawberry, cheaitng on your strawberry boyfriend with me, yeah you know you want to!" Remus gagged. "Uh..Potter? Where's your bathroom, because hearing Sirius jerk off with a strawberry is slightly nauseating.."

A/N: I was bored and this dude who has a crush on me just wouldn't stop calling me until I told him to go away... Curse Damian...


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